End of year worries

With the end of the year coming up, my mind keeps racing over some of the "problems" I'm facing.

First of all, Dave and I always kept enough life insurance on ourselves such that if one of us were to pass away, the house would be paid for. Well, neither of us passed away. Dave's company carried his life insurance for a bit, buy once they terminated him, we no longer had the option. Now, I can't imagine that he would qualify for any kind of life insurance, anywhere. He is only 43, and uninsurable.

Couple that with the recent realization I have been having that yes, we survived this stroke. But, Dave is six years older than me, has already had one stroke, is a bit overweight, and is a diet-controlled diabetic. Now, I realize that many stroke patients live for years, if not decades, without another incident. Dave's great-aunt was like that - she had a stroke in her 50's, and lived well into her 80's. But one day, it hit me like a runaway train - statistically speaking, Dave is going to predecease me, and it could quite likely be sooner rather than later.

Then there was the Christmas party that his stroke club/support group had the other day. I and our daughter were invited, and I figured it would be fun to get away from the business and the house for a few hours. Instead, I found myself looking at all these stroke patients, working so hard to overcome their individual obstacles, seeing how it has affected more than one life in so many cases - and I saw clearly that the problems we are having now, we will continue to have for years to come. I hope it is not being too selfish, but I felt a great wave of self-pity for most of that party, and kept trying to hide my tears.

Well, I just wanted to get that down on paper, and there it is. Now that it is off my mind, I can get back to work. Merry Christmas, one and all.