I have almost decided that Dave did not have a stroke. He is just being a guy, and figured out how to get away with it.
Other people periodically ask me about Dave, and in my lower moments, I commiserate about how it gets tiring to have to remind him to flush the toilet, brush his teeth, feed the kids, go to the doctor's office. What I invariably get from everyone is, "Oh, my husband is like that, too!"
Then there are the times like today. We were at our daughter's pre-K, and they were having their Easter party, since next week is Spring Break. I asked Dave to get the camera out of the trunk of the car so we could take pictures.
"At home?"
"No, in the trunk of the car."
"In the back room at home?"
"No, in the trunk of the car."
"The car at home?"
"No, the car here. The trunk of the car here." (Gesturing towards the parking lot.)
"That car? Our car?"
"Yes. That car. In the trunk. In the back." (Gesture towards the car, then behind me as I pantomine driving the car. The kids are starting to think this is a great game.)
"Where in car."
"In the trunk. There is a basket." (I indicate a round basket with my hands, then pretend to pick it up by the handles and carry it.)
"In our car?"
"Yes. Our car. There. In the trunk. You will see it on top of the basket." (I use our sign for "look", then indicate a basket again.)
The kids are getting ready for an Easter Egg Hunt. The 3-year olds completely get the basket idea. Basket. Car. Right.
So, he goes out to the car. I can see through the window. He spends 10 minutes checking the back seat, moving papers, looking under the seat. He finally opens the trunk, immediately sees the camera, and comes back inside.
I don't want to hear how your husband is "just like that".
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2 comments:
Doesn't it feel like you're speaking a foreign language sometimes and our husband's don't understand a word of it. And you are correct, this isn't normal 'husband' stuff. It would be so easy, sometimes, to give into the temptation to just do the task ourselves but that's not helping the situation, either is it. Cognitive abilities need to build slowly over time.
Jean
Most people haven't the foggiest notion about strokes and their aftereffects. They think strokes are sort of like heart attacks (you to to the hospital, you live or die, if you live you go home, your life may be more restricted, but you are pretty much the same). Duh. They also don't know that all strokes are not alike and the guy who had the ischemic (clot) stroke may turn out differently than the guy in the 12% minority who had a hemorrhagic stroke. This does not keep them from pretending to be experts.
Do take care of yourself - and do not blame your husband because he suffered such an insult to his young brain. When someone says something really stupid, assume ignorance rather than malice.
It will help to preserve your sanity.
Caregiver in CA
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