The Boys Are Here!!!!!

For anyone who has been wondering, the triplets have arrived!

ONE of my waters broke on 7/30 (there were three amniotic sacs, only one broke...), but the docs were able to delay delivery for a few more days - it allowed a few injections of steroids to help develop their lungs. After all, they were born at only 29 weeks and 2 days!

Pics are below - Arthur Raymond Titus, 2lb 14oz, 15 1/2"; Brannon Ash Titus, 3lb 5oz, 15 3/4", Charles Ares Titus, 2lb 13.7oz, 15 1/2". These are the birth pics - they are off the ventilators, breathing tubes, and IV's. They are fed milk via feeding tubes (they are still learning to swallow), and are being treated for jaundice and sleep apnea (which is "normal" for preemies). We are allowed to hold them, they seem to recognize our voices, and they track fingers in front of their faces. In general, we are extremely pleased with their progress. Since we live an hour away, we are trying to see them every other day. When I heal up enough (I had a c-section), I hope to get a room at the local Ronald McDonald house so I can spend every day with them!

Dave's Stroke in the Bay Weekly

If anyone is interested - this is an article that was published a year or two ago regarding the Maryland Renaissance Festival. I have been a part of the MD Renfaire (www.rennfest.com) for about 20 years now, in one form or another. I dragged poor Dave into this when we started dating..... And now The Bee Folks (http://www.beefolks.com/) is a major attraction at the festival.

I was approached by a reporter for the Bay Weekly looking for stories of interest from the Renaissance Faire. We initially spoke by phone, and she eventually came to our office to see our operations and to hear more. Some of what she took away that day made it into her article, including a mention of Dave's stroke and the Faire's reaction to it.

The entire article is interesting and is an accurate representation of the Faire, but if you want to skip to Dave's part, look for the section titled "The Spirit of Revel Grove", about half-way down the page.

http://www.bayweekly.com/year06/issuexiv33/leadxiv33_1.html

This summed up my feelings

Just a quick post:

When Dave had his stroke, this was hot on the radio. Every time I had to drive from one hospital to another, or the few times I went home to take a shower, I heard it on the radio. It really summed up my feelings at the time. Made me cry back then every time I heard it, and looking back, I should have pulled over to the side of the road every time I heard it.

Shoot, it still makes me cry when I hear it.

The song is called Broken, by a band called Seether, and the version on the radio featured Amy Lee from Evanescence. I have read that the song was originally written by the lead singer of Seether about his wife and daughter when he had to leave them. To me, it expressed everything I felt about wanting to protect Dave through those troubling times. The first version is the video with Amy Lee, the second is just Seether. Both are links to YouTube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AKGpZuadMsA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4XQfDd0iMc&feature=related

Update on the Family

I must admit, Dave is handling everything very well right now.

While we were down in Florida, he spent very little time on the Internet and watching TV. The exact opposite of what he did up here, where he spent the first 2-2.5 years post-stroke watching TV cartoon shows under the pretense that he was "doing homework". While in Florida, his speech skills skyrocketed in a way that I never would have dreamed of, this long post-stroke. All I can figure is that he was forced to interact more directly with the world, and that this new stimulation to his brain jump-started some neural pathways.

Don't get me wrong. He still has lots of issues, and still flubs majorly while under stress or when tired. I still don't see him going back to work, dealing with clients and contracts. But, especially when I am tired from the pregnancy, it is nice to be able to communicate more easily with my own husband.

Now, with me being pregnant, he is still spending much less time on the computer and TV, and actually doing work around the house. YEAH! In my mind, this is helping him as much as me, just based off the Florida experience. I have stopped fretting about Dave trying to sleep in until 2PM, and I spend more time thanking him for washing the dishes, watching our daughter, and making certain that I always have something to drink.

Maybe this sounds kinda selfish. However, a few weeks ago, the babies took a turn for the worse. I went in for one of my "routine" sonograms, to find out that they are in stage two of twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome. If you look up TTTS on google, you can find all you ever wanted to know about it. But, in brief, one baby was hogging a good portion of the blood flow from the placenta, and because of this, another baby wasn't getting enough. At the time, I had 6-7 weeks to go until the babies were viable. Left untreated, all three babies were likely to die in utero, or if they made it to 26 weeks, they would be born with major heart and brain problems and have to be cared for for the rest of their lives.

So, I underwent an orthoscopic laser surgery to correct the problem. I came through the surgery just fine, and the babies seem to be doing well so far. Dave and my parents took turns staying with me in the hospital. That is saying a lot for Dave - he hates hospitals. Between his own stroke and his parent's illnesses, he has only seen pain and suffering at hospitals, and prefers not to go at all. But he was there for me.

Now I am two weeks post-surgery, and back at home on bedrest. Dave has been an angel, keeping house, rubbing my feet, making certain I eat, test my blood sugar, making certain I take my medications, driving me to and from the doctor appointments.... Every now and then we joke that I spent the second half of my last pregnancy taking care of Dave, that it was all about Dave, and now it is Dave's turn to take care of me. Or that he is fobidden to have another stroke (his three-year anniversary is July 4). Or that it sucks that I have gestational diabetes, and can't send him out for Ben and Jerry's at 3AM just on principle.

I am feeling very lucky right now, that Dave is able to help so much. He better not have another stroke.

(Oh, and since I don't think I have mentioned it yet - the docs have decided we are having identical triplet boys. Dave wants to name them Thor, Zeus, and Mars. I'm not certain if he really wants those names, or if he is just saying that to get my dander up! Never a dull moment around here....)

How to double the size of your family overnight!

Just to make life a bit interesting, I am pregnant.

Dave took the news well. We had decided to try for another child. After all, Dave seems stable and more-or-less capable, I'm not getting any younger, and we were going to run out of chances soon. So, it seems that, while at Mardi Gras in New Orleans, I became pregnant.

What Dave didn't take well was the news a few months later. You see, we found out I was pregnant while merchanting at the Florida Renaissance Festival - a two-month show just north of Miami. We learned this after a home pregnancy test after the first weekend of sales. I was very careful at the show - drank lots of water, avoided alcohol and second-hand smoke, ate appropriately, slept a lot, let others do the heavy lifting for me. After the show was over, we went and spent a week at Disneyworld, on the way back home to Maryland. Honestly, I'm glad we did, because I certainly would not have enjoyed Disney so much if I had known what was coming.

We returned home on a Thursday night. Early Friday morning, I found I was bleeding. I called my midwives, and after some discussion, decided I didn't need to go to the hospital, but that I should go for a sonogram THAT DAY. And I did. I take the health of the babies very seriously.

Now, keep in mind, a sonogram SHOULD take about 20 minutes. They look at the kid, look for things like arms and legs, measure anything that can be measured, enter all the stats into an equation, and determine if the kid is growing appropriately.

THIS sonogram took an hour and a half. The tech and I were talking the entire time. "Did anyone come with you to drive you home?" "Is anyone waiting for you in the waiting room?" Such questions got me nervous, but we spoke of other things too, like her kids, the whacky weather, and whether or not I liked the midwives I was using. After a while, she said she was having trouble with some measurements, and needed to take the "alternate route". For you women out there, you know what I mean. For the men out there - the "normal route" is on top of the belly, so use your testosterone-laden minds to determine where an alternate route might lay. If you still can't figure it out, try this: Once the tech had been taking measurements for an extended period via the alternate route, I told her I wanted a lollipop when we were done. When she asked, "Why?", I told her it was because I don't smoke.

So, after an hour and a half, the tech finally looked at me and said that the office policy was to not discuss the results of a sonogram with the patient, and to let the docs and midwives discuss them with the patient. But, after such an extended exam, she felt she could tell me something.

"Would it be a bad thing if you found out you were having triplets?"

Needless to say, my jaw hit the floor. There is no history of multiples in my family or Dave's family. I probably shouldn't have driven home, but I made it, in shock.

Then I had to tell Dave.

I was able to bring some pics with me from the tech's office. I showed Dave one pic, where you could clearly see two babies. "Twins?" he said, clear as day.

"Triplets," I replied handing him another photo.

The last clear words that came out of him for hours was, "We can't do this." Then he went and curled up, fetal position, on our bed. I called one of the managers that work for me, and asked him to take Dave out drinking that night. That seemed to really help.

I didn't really break down until Easter Sunday. I called my sister, and her and her boyfriend were nice enough to have an unexpected Easter dinner with us. She sat with me for probably a few hours in the bedroom, and we spoke on various topics, including the pregnancy. She got me to the point where I could finally go take a shower and eat something. The next day, I saw my chiropractor (who has special training for pregnancies). He adjusted my neck and shoulders, and I have been more-or-less functional ever since.

Dave and I have been asked, on multiple occasions, "Is this congratulations, or condolences?"

Let me put it this way. I like new and different things, and this is certainly a new and different things. The idea of potentially having three little lifes as sweet and charming as our 2-year-old Rowan is definitely thrilling.

On the other hand, the odds of natural, spontaneous triplets is 1:8200 (or about .0122% of all births). Oh, and just this last week, I have learned that there is at least a set of twins in there, and it is quite possible that they are all identical. The odds of identical triplets? Something like 6% of triplets are all identical (which means 1:136,666 of all births), and 66% are identical twins with a fraternal brother (which means 1:12,424 of all births).

So, despite the excitement, I also feel like a freak.

I'm going to leave the story at that for right now, and continue it later. I have a lot of info I need to digest right now (and maybe you do, too). But don't worry - you will be hearing more on this subject later.

The importance of spelling

I have seen things like the below before, and find it incredibly interesting. Course, the next question is whether someone with aphasia can also read this. Or, for that matter, if someone who is dyslexic.....

cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs rpsoet it.

The Stress of Christmas

I'm probably more tired than I realize. It is, after all, 2AM here on the East Coast. More than that, though, is the number of orders I received from my website at www.beefolks.com. "Unprecedented" hardly describes it. I might also try "phenomenal".

Still, filling these orders has left me drained and tired. Now that it is the day before christmas, orders have slowed drastically, but they are still trickling in by those who either want honey for coughs and colds, or those who, like me, did not get a chance to shop until the last minute.

Now during all this, I am trying to make certain my husband is still keeping a watchful eye on the toddler. One day, I walked in to find the two of them watching TV at 11AM. I do not believe in using the TV as a babysitter, and I firmly believe that Rowan needs more exercise than she is currently getting, so I ask him to turn off the TV and find something else to do.

I walk in later to find Rowan asleep in her room, but Dave watching TV and playing online poker at the same time. I ask him to stop both, since there were things that needed to be done around the house, and naptime was a great time to get some of them done. Like laundry. I had not had clean underwear in a week, and I was on my last pair of pants. Although I might enjoy running around buck naked once in a while, I try not to do so in the office. So, Dave turns off the TV and the computer.

Once again, I come back later to find Rowan watching TV, and Dave playing poker online. He informs me that it is ok, because she just woke up. And, he had decided what he wanted to do for a living - he wanted to be a full-time poker player.

I went ballistic. I made Dave take a long, long drive around the countryside, for several hours, so I could cool down. He wanted to take Rowan, and I made him leave her with me. I took the afternoon off so I could watch her. It was NOT ok for him to use the TV as a babysitter, it was NOT ok for him to watch TV and play on the computer when the house was a wreck and I was on the verge of taking a bath with my clothes on, and it certainly was not ok for him to play online poker BECAUSE Rowan had just woken up!

He only left because I threatened to otherwise go find a hotel room for Rowan and I, and that I would come in during the day to work in the office.

I love my husband dearly. Sometimes, he almost seems like his old self. But when things like this happen.....

While he was gone, I checked his computer. He was only playing free games - he had not uploaded any actual money to the site. Then I packed up his computer and hid it. It's not that I have anything against poker, or my husband playing poker. He is good at the free online games, but he doesn't understand that the money games are played differently. And, the one time he tried an actual live poker room, he could not understand the table talk, and the low buzz of noise from the players and TV sets were too distracting for him to concentrate. Most importantly, he doesn't need to play when he is supposed to be watching a child.

When he returned, I firmly told him that this was not going to be the example that Rowan was going to see growing up. That he needed to change his ways, or else I would help him find an apartment that his social security check would pay for, and he could watch tv and play games all day there. Told him that my parents had already offered to purchase his half of the house if we were to get a divorce, and that if he kept on his current track, it would be a strong possibility of actually happening.

He keeps saying that when his father was on disability, his dad would just sit around the house all day and watch TV, drink, and sleep, and at least he wasn't drinking. Which is true. But I asked him if he would want his daughter to marry someone who sat around the house all day watching TV and playing on the computer. Did he want to set that example for his little girl? Doesn't he want something more for her?

This is not the first time that it happens -- one time, I kicked him out of the house for an entire week so that he could gain a better appreciation of what it takes to live without all the help I and my parents have given him. (The straw that broke the camel's back was when he told me I could work myself to the bone if I wanted to, but that his SS check was his contribution to household income, so he was going to watch tv and play on the computer all day. That was the day I decided that Rowan was NOT going to have that as a male role model, even if it means divorcing Dave.) I get very, very frustrated when he is like this. At least he seems to have taken my words seriously this time -- until the next time the TV catches his eye...